Getting Outside of Your Head

When people are trying to get to know you, they often say that they want to “get inside your head.” But, is that really the place to be? I mean, think about what we end up doing to ourselves in there. We’re always putting ourselves down and dwelling on things that we should be letting go of. Heck, we even create scenarios that don’t exist just to have something to stress about.

The fact of the matter is stress is unhealthy. Another fact: We stress out way too often (and usually over things that don’t matter). In order to live a healthier life, I suggest that we try to “get outside” of our own heads sometimes and simply look at the facts. And whatever you do, don’t get out of your head and try to get into someone else’s.

The other day, I was watching an old episode of “The Big Bang Theory” where Penny acted in a way that was completely absurd, but very similar to how we all act in certain situations. Sheldon had lent her money and she obviously couldn’t handle being in debt to him. So, she created a scenario in her own head that complicated the situation even further. Because she felt guilty about owing him money, she expected Sheldon to judge her when he saw that she had bought a hat online and ordered Chinese food instead of making herself a sensible, inexpensive dinner. In her head, he was constantly judging her. In reality (tv reality, anyway), that wasn’t the case at all. But her perception made things weird between them.

Can you think of a situation where you did this? I can certainly relate. In our effort to “get into other people’s heads” we often get lost in our own and cause ourselves undue stress. Most people do it at work. If you're an executive assistant, you might worry that the CEO (your boss) doesn't like you. Or, if you're a paralegal, you might worry about your relationship with the firm's lawyers.

I think part of the cure is to simply recognize the behavior. Are you stressed because someone has actually acted in a way that is unfair to you, or are you stressed because you think you know what the other person is thinking? Next time, do yourself a favor and get the facts before you bother stressing over things. You’ll feel a lot better, and you’ll probably have more productive relationships.